School of hard knocks!

We're a couple weeks in of a new school year. It's bound to be better than last year, right? I mean...it.has.to.be. Well, to kick off the new year I emailed the primary new teacher. That letter can be read here. I talked to her in class. Giving her a very quick run through and told her that I would send her that email to fill her in as much as possible. 

Ready to rock this party!

First day of school. I take Tyler to class and get him settled in. He sits down at his desk, places his lap pad on his lap, and sets right in to the work on his desk. With a smile on his face I leave him in good hands. When I pick him up he tells me that he likes his primary teacher just fine, but that he likes the secondary teacher more, because she rings a bell instead of raising her voice when she needs the classes attention or they are too loud.

Second day of school. Strike the above comments. She does raise her voice. In fact, this is now a daily issue. The only other problem he is having is people repeating the same question to him every day multiple times a day. They want to know about the lap pad. He doesn't want to talk about it. Since he doesn't want to talk about it they keep asking. He just wants everyone to mind their own business and forget about him and his lap pad, but they won't and he can't bring himself to talk to the teacher about it. And, just like last year, he can't bring himself to say anything to the secondary teacher about the volume because he's afraid she will only raise her voice directly at him.

Week one and two down and Tyler is mostly happy. He is really enjoying being back in school. By this time last year his secondary teacher was yelling so much that he was laying in bed crying saying he couldn't go to school. Tyler is perfectly happy going to school in the morning currently. So that tells me that the secondary teacher isn't constantly yelling like the last teacher, she is just raising her voice occasionally.

Lunch on Tuesday <3

Week three - Monday Tyler isn't feeling well but tries to go to school. After setting out from the house he decides he just wants to go back home and lay down. Tuesday everything in fine and well so off to school he goes. I pick him up and he is really upset. Awesome primary teacher pulls me aside and tells me that he flipped out over someone asking about his lap pad. I tell her well it's not so much that they asked as it is about it being a repeated theme. He gets asked about it every day and I guess he's had enough. She said she didn't know (of course because he will only talk to me). She also stated that she didn't want Tyler to become overwhelmed and that she has noticed that he is a sensitive guy. She is also working on meeting him in the middle as far as what works for him and what she needs done.

When we got home and sat down to do his homework Tyler just started crying. He felt so overwhelmed at the "mound" of work he had to catch up on from being absent the day before, and to top it off he had met his emotional limit at being asked the same question constantly. That evening I decided to email both teachers to let them know where Tyler was struggling, throw some ideas their way (including pulling him aside to ask him specific direct questions as to how his day is going therefore giving him a chance to let them know if he is having a hard time since he won't do it on his own), and putting it out there that I was open for ideas as well.

Wednesday. Tyler walked out the door and I knew either it had been a bad day or something had JUST happened. His teacher looked at me. There was a silent knowing look between us. No words were exchanged. Tyler was ready to flee the scene and talk to mom alone. He decided he wanted to go talk in the library and do his homework. So we sat down and he began dumping his emotional burden on me. They had been in the secondary classroom and the teacher called for everyone's attention. Tyler says he turned and faced her but that others in his group continued as they were. So she signed everyone in the groups folder. 

To Tyler this is a great injustice. He does not deal well with getting in trouble as a group. In his eye he was unworthy of it and that is all that matters. And by golly he wanted SO BADLY to go all year without his folder being signed. AND if he gets his folder signed too much it's going to lower his behavior grade. He was a mess. This is something we have been trying to work with him on for a long time. How do you teach them NOT to take it personally? That sometimes you do get in trouble as a group for what your neighbors did. It may not be fair, but that as long as you are doing your best those times won't be many. It doesn't matter. He was unjustly punished and now his goal is ruined.

I wish so much that I could teach how to be brave. How to not live in fear of his autism. How to say, I don't like that or I need this. But he trusts mommy. She's the one who is always there. She listens. She fixes things. And above all, no matter how bad it gets, there is still always love at then end. So why risk approaching someone who might not understand?