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| The Bells by Edgar Allan Poe |
My husband and I celebrate our birthdays every year by going to Oktoberfest. My birthday is usually the week after and then his birthday is about two weeks after that. He gets to get some German beer that he says is quite tasty, I'll have to take his word for it, and I get to browse the tents set up by merchants who all hand make their items.
Tyler has always been gone that weekend so we usually go on Saturday and take Blonde Eyes with us. She get's her face painted and we eat some German food. This year Tyler was home, but we had spent Saturday at the zoo with him while Blonde Eyes was working. We decided for our date night that Blonde Eyes would babysit Tyler and we'd go to Oktoberfest alone. I always end up buying a piece of jewelry from the same vendor. I buy it because I like the particular stone he uses, and it's not something you see a lot of.
I'm not a jewelry person though. I have some. I just don't wear it. I wear my wedding rings, and that's about it. I sometimes think about putting on the necklace I got one year from Oktoberfest, but...it's not often. I have a selection of rings. I use to wear a watch religiously until I was in that car accident some years ago now. I have a watch, that I like, but once again I just don't wear it.
I'm just not that kind of girl I guess. The husband and I were talking about that this weekend. How I buy it because I feel like I'm suppose to because I'm a girl. What a silly reason to do anything, really. I didn't get me a piece from the same ole vendor this year, BUT I did get me another piece from a different vendor. One that hadn't ever been there before. This time, I got something not because I'm a girl so I'm suppose to buy jewelry, but because it spoke to me....
It was just a charm and there was a selection of chains you could get with it. I opted for just a black cord, that seemed more "me". The vendor had a wide selection of charms, for that was their nitch, but the charms were all in the shape of a bell. Each bell had a theme. There were daughter bells, friend bells, BEST friend bells, bells for your wife, bells for your girlfriend, and probably bells for the bells. There were smaller bells for children, and larger bells for adults. Each bell had it's own engraving that made it stand out from the other bells as well as the little piece inside that makes it ring was shaped as something that went with the theme.
My husband pointed one out to me. It was the only one that I read the accompanying poem for, it was the only one that I really noticed. I had looked at some of the others, but really only in passing. The way one does as they a walking by something. But this...
We walked on. We had almost reached the end of the vendor tents. The Hubs decided he'd go get himself something to drink. I told him that well I would finish walking the row of vendors, but that if I wasn't there when he got back I guessed I'd go back to the bells. I walked on by myself and I don't think I looked at anything. I didn't walk into a single tent. I walked to the end of the row and turned around, and began running back to the bells.
Running....as much as one could possibly manage to do so in a crowd as thick as the chunkiest stew ever. I quickly zipped in and out of people. Being so short I manage well in such situations. I over shot the bells, and had to re-orientate myself and backtrack. I walked up to the tent and immediately said "I want this one!"
I made my purchase, and she boxed everything up and put it in a bag. I turned my back and stood there in the crowd and began digging through it. The box the charm was in was nicely closed shut with a ribbon. Off it goes. It was sealed inside a little baggie within the box. Not anymore! I put the box back in the bag. I got out the cord and slipped the charm on the rope. I then put it on. I stood there relishing in my new lovely amid all the nasty smells that were bothering me, the crowd that was too much, but I had this new lovely, and that's where my husband found me.
We talked about it as we left. We talked about how I don't wear jewelry, but how he thinks I'll wear this because it has meaning. I've yet to take it off. We talked about my silliness in the past about jewelry. I think those days will be behind us now. I don't fit in with my "peers" as is, jewelry won't change that.
As I cleaned on Sunday Blonde Eyes noted the jingling I was making. She assumed I didn't know it would do that. Umm, it's a bell. As I bent, causing the bell to hang freely, and moved about it chimed it's soft reminder. Blonde Eyes joked that they'd always know I was coming. That's fine, I don't mind. I reach up periodically to gently grasp the bell in my fingers and slowly spin it as I reflect on how much my life has been centered around it's theme, even before I ever realized it.
The bell is engraved with puzzle pieces and the inside piece is of someone sitting holding their knees. I don't view Autism as a bad thing. I don't view it as a curse. I don't think it's a disease or a disability (severely autistic aside). **Note** The reverse side of this bell does say cure autism, of which I have immediate plans to cover it up with enamel. It's a different way of being. A way that I like just fine.
We watched the X-men movie this weekend too. Mutant and Proud was the message. Autistic and Proud. I like that. Now when my bell chimes, I smile. I think of autism...and smile.
