Criminal Intent

Mama (how many of my blogs start this way?) was telling me about a comment on a post of hers and asked me to check out a link. So, I go over and I read it. Right away I see what she was talking about. The provided link was to a post talking contrary about seemingly EVERYTHING that Mama and I think about autism. It was very strongly written. To me most of it was in a very defiant manner. Not only daring you to defy her, but almost begging you to.

The question at hand was....Why would this person want me to read this? There is nothing here that is anything like what I tell my readers. So....what was the meaning behind drawing my attention here?

The first thing that came to my mind was self advertising. As a page owner that happens all the time. Ohhh I love your page! Come check out mine. And then the page doesn't even follow your page. I'm thinking, same thing but with blogs. Then there is the possibilities of swaying people to come around to that way of thinking about autism.

PWAS then tells her well...maybe you're missing the point behind it. Mama then decides that she should not be so quick to anger and look for a silver lining in the message. Which all leads us here...

I then told Mama that here is the problem. When you don't know someone you then have to try to determine their intent on your own. You have no basis for making your decision either. When you don't REALLY know someone you get to decide for yourself if you want to put malice or love into their words.

Some people naturally like to jump to seeing bad in people others are hopelessly trusting and seeing nothing but good. I don't think many can just place themselves in neutral. What are the options left then? Well, I suppose you could jump to being offended and or retaliate/arrange dinner with your new BFF. Where possible you could consult a neutral third party who knows you both and ask for an interpretation. Or, you could go straight to the source. Hey, what did you mean by that? or Hey, this is what I got from that, is that what you meant?

My husband often tells me that the problem with  the written word is that you can't always tell what context it is meant to be taken in. I don't think that's true, because to me anything you say at any time in any fashion can be taken out of context if the person wishes to do so. I prefer the written word. I can formulate what I am saying. I can add things in, edit things out, and make sure that what I am saying is as to the point as possible.

I keep myself factual in my writings. I rarely attach feelings to them. I try to just say, HEY this is the way it is...no big deal. And I assume that being straight forward and to the point with an absence of feelings will lead to clarity for every reader. But next to no one who reads my blogs truly knows me. Knows me well enough to know my intent. I just hope that the words I say are taken the way they were intended. 

So, what was this other bloggers intent for Mama? I have no clue. The social aspect of people tends to be lost on me. It's why I stay in my home a lot. It's why if I venture out I don't go without my husband. But I could guess that most people's intents are not criminal in nature. Some might be selfish or misguided...but honestly....I just don't understand people.

I'm not a jerk. Hopefully this other blogger isn't one either. I would just say to each of you, be careful how you judge intent. You cannot always judge intent of the person based off of your feelings. In the end, I respect Mama's chosen response to the situation. She was angry. She consulted a couple of friends. And then sat her feelings aside. She decided that just because she doesn't agree with this person that it didn't mean they had to be enemies.