School isn't even over and I am already thinking about next year. What changes are going to take place? Where will my child struggle? What can I do to make it easier? Will his new teachers be better with him than some past teachers? What kind of modifications should I be thinking about for his I.E.P.? Which brings us to today's blog. These questions are not unique to me. Many parents find themselves in that seat for the first time and don't know what they can ask for. Schools often say "no" or give you an "are you insane" look and it makes the parent retreat in shame. This is a tried and true method for the schools. They know how to get out of things. You just have to let them know you aren't going anywhere.
I have heard many times through the numerous special needs pages I follow where people get told that academically their child is doing just fine and therefore no I.E.P is needed. I want to be the first in line to call B.S.! Academically my son has never struggled. His FIRST round through Kindergarten he not only was academically just fine, he was ahead of the majority. However, if the teacher said something like "Everyone put you're things away we're getting ready to go to music class", Tyler would put his things away and immediately leave and escort himself to the music room. After all, that's what she said to do, right? She was amazed to hear that Tyler had attended Pre-K. She said she would have never guessed that he had EVER been around other children before due to his total lack of awareness of other people's space. She told me that academically Tyler would do just fine going on to first grade, but she had concerns that if his current issues persisted that it would start affecting his ability to do well academically. I held him back.
Tyler has been an Honor Student his entire school career so far. This is while not being able to sit in his seat, not being able to focus on a thing the teacher is saying, and constantly being distracted. I often say, WHAT could this boy do if he could actually sit in his seat?! Tyler's intelligence often gets overlooked by school officials namely because he isn't performing at his full potential. So is Tyler unworthy of an I.E.P because academically he is doing "just fine"? No sir! That child needs himself an I.E.P.
In our support group meeting last night we talked about how there is a difference between the private world and the school world. Ideally, the simple fact that your child has a disability would mean that they get services. This is not how the school words things, therefore they do not have to provide services just because you present documentation saying that your child has X diagnosis. They use the wording "eligible". To be "eligible" you have to have a "diagnosis" that meets certain "criteria" and it has to put your child in a situation that they now have a "need". Which is where children can fall through at. Sure your kid has ADHD but they are on medicine and "seem" just fine in class and academically they are "just fine".
I.E.P's are not just about what grade your kid makes in Social Studies or Science class. School is largely about teaching kids how to be an adult. How to get a job. Support themselves. How to be independent. A prime example from our meeting last night; What good is whatever their grade was in math class going to do them for keeping their job when they still hit anyone who brushes up against them on accident? Learning is much more than just your ABC's and how to write in cursive. It's more than whether or not you manage to get by very well or by the seat of your pants in every class.
Example's of the kinds of things available: Your child can be removed from class for large tests to be tested in a room alone or with only a couple children. Your child can be moved to a remote location in the classroom for smaller quick tests (such as spelling tests/quizzes..). You can prevent certain punishments ie you can block them from ever denying your child recess. You can block them from punishing certain behaviors, ie if your child has a problem with interrupting people when they talk you can make it to where your child's most frequent offence is not something he can get in trouble for. You can have it to where they have to let them wear earplugs if they have sound sensory issues.
You can also receive services. Your child can get socialization training. They can be taught how to use proper levels of volume when talking in different situations. They can receive help with learning proper hygiene. How to properly deal with emotions.
What your child can get out of an I.E.P. is so much more than just getting them to where they are doing "just fine" academically. I cannot stress enough to you, that where there is a will there is a way. If your child has a need no one will help them unless you make them. Or at least you can't expect them to. Maybe they will, but maybe they won't. You are your child's advocate. And what they deny you.....do on your own. They shoot you down on the earplugs? Send your kid to school with earplugs in their pocket.
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