The Zoo AKA Over Stimulation Central

Tyler asked to go to the zoo over the weekend, and after a week long shut in (Spring Break) I felt this was a very reasonable request. Ah, the zoo. An old friend of mine. We keep a membership here. The membership is fairly cheap and you can't beat the value. Want to do something but don't have the money for it? Let's go to the zoo!

Back when Tyler was in Kindergarten it was a trip to the zoo that really brought home to me that something wasn't quite right with Tyler. And this wasn't ADHD. I had NO idea what that meant, but something had to change. Knowing everything that I do now about Autism I can honestly say that Tyler has been Autistic since the day he was born. But then, I didn't know a single thing about Autism or the spectrum that encircled it.

We always like to go to the zoo RIGHT at opening time. Not for good parking, not even to beat the heat, but to beat the people. Then, just as it starts warming up and the people are all flooding in...we're just about done and on our way out. Tyler has always been a "leader". He walks in front...and he walks fast. Although one might worry about losing him, Tyler has also always been the kind that you shouldn't worry about losing because he wouldn't allow it. There had been more than one occasion where I couldn't SEE Tyler, but he knew right where I was at all times and came back. Not that this helps you not feel all panicky inside.

So on this day as the day went on more and more people showed up and I had to keep reminding Tyler to slow down and to stay close. I hadn't yet figured out that my repeating words only added to his issues. Finally, my worry of the crowd swallowing him lead me to the ultimate no-no. I reached up and touched him on the back of the shoulder/neck in an attempt to make him stop. He instantly threw himself down on the sidewalk screaming incoherently.  I have seen myself MANY tantrums. This was no tantrum. I had no idea what it was, but he wasn't trying to get something out of me and this wasn't ADHD.

As a side note: It would be another year before someone introduced me to the A word.

Here lately there has been a lot of talk how our kids have grown up seemingly out of nowhere. I have a picture on my desk of the whole family from a few years back. The other day my husband picked it up and was talking about how this picture didn't seem like it was from so long ago, but yet the the baby in the kids faces is now gone that was very present in that picture. One can't help but notice the shapely young lady that Blonde Eyes has become. Tyler is now a smidge taller than me. I have no doubt that soon the genes he got from my ex-husband will have him towering over me. Where has time gone, and where is it continuing to go?

This week at the zoo Tyler still manned the front. Although my husband was very quick to point out that he has slowed down. This isn't a race anymore. I've noted before that Tyler lingers now at places, and it was no different at the zoo. He walks ahead, and then stops, and stays. At one point we even moved on before he did. Tyler came up behind us and said, "Hey! I turned around and you guys were gone!" I didn't see him and assumed he had moved on, but apparently he had just moved over and became hidden by other people. Oops.

There is a tunnel that you walk through to get from one side of the zoo to another. Tyler was talking to me as we walked and then he got bothered by all the other people not talking, but yelling in the tunnel and causing horrible echos. He said, "You know, I'm just going to stop talking until we get out of here." I told him I understood, and about the echos. So he asked everyone else in our group to please stop talking and adding to the echos until we got out. Blonde Eyes of course kept talking, but Tyler stayed true to his word and stopped. 

At a later point Tyler had moved off away from the crowd and told me that he was staying away from all the people. I couldn't help but be proud of him for constantly being aware of himself and his needs and then doing something about it. When did this happen?  When he had enough and wanted to go home he said so. I had even thrown out about going to the aquarium since it wasn't far, but he was done. 

On one hand that day at the zoo with him laying on the ground screaming seems not THAT far gone, but yet it also feels like it was in another life. Tyler is almost 11 now. He still can't adjust his own bath water, but he's learning self awareness. He's learning his triggers. He's learning how to cope. And really...isn't that we all want for our kids?