Last night I laid cuddled up to my husband and began thinking. Holding me has never been a "natural" thing for him. He wants to though, and he knows I enjoy it. So he does it for as long as he can possibly stand it and then says, "I'm sorry hun". I'm thankful for the time that I get. I know he tries. I smile, give him one last squeeze, one last kiss, and I roll over still smiling and still thinking.
My husband is over 40 years old. Look at where our autism awareness is now. We all run into those who don't understand it. Those who don't even try to understand it. Yet, we are at a great advantage now as to where the knowledge had been then. 40 years ago autism wasn't seen for the spectrum disorder that it is. There were very strict diagnosis criteria. Even in today's advanced time people go undiagnosed for not following the old strict criteria. I read a story about someone whom had a child that was 13 and was just getting diagnosed with severe classic autism because in the past they had said she COULDN'T be autistic because she showed affection towards her parents....and well, everyone knows that those with autism do NOT show any emotion...o.O
40 years ago my husband was a boy whom suffered from epilepsy, he would bang his head into the floor with no thought of pain, he was seen as a child whom lived inside a bubble that no one could penetrate, and one of the most told stories is about his constant chair tipping days. He was a chewer, lived off of canned spaghetti (and was known for gagging and throwing up when forced to eat certain foods), purposely had virtually no friends, and lived inside his own obsessions. To this day my husband still lives inside his own obsessions, he's still a chewer, he still abstains from friendships, he would not only still be eating canned spaghetti if I let him he would be forcing the rest of us to eat it as well, and if he can't have me with him he either flat out refuses to go or if forced to go he will not enjoy it no matter who is present.
One of the things that I find the most amazing about my husband is his memory. My husband on one hand seems very absent minded. However, he can take a 10 book series. Read them all out of order. Read each book just one time. THEN when you start reading the series in order, and he asks you what page you're on.....he can QUOTE something from that page. He can tell you EVERYTHING that has happened up to that point without saying anything about what is about to happen. How stinking amazing is that?! And...a tad creepy :)
My husband has no problem telling me he loves me. We have a love journal that we write love notes in to each other. However he knows he's not exactly Mr. Romantic. So, as he tells me, his way of making up for it is...if I cook, he cleans the kitchen. He washes the laundry. He shows his love by helping out around the house, because he knows he kinda sucks with words. I mean: He once told his girlfriend (whom was canceling their date because she was having car problems and was refusing to let him come pick her up, because she thinks everyone other than her drives too dangerously), that well if you had spears sticking out of steering wheels and pointed at peoples chest instead of having seat belts that people would suddenly drive with some caution. Then wondered why she stopped talking to him... o.O We just call these Mr. Toad moments and roll with it. I mostly find them pretty funny.
I use to worry about Tyler. What would become of him as an adult? But when I look at my husband... His life doesn't suck. He has a family that loves him. He has a job in the field of his choosing. He gets to work from home so he doesn't have to talk to anyone socially anymore (he freaking LOVES that!). He has a wife that understands him for who he is and let's him be that person. Although, I admit I do slap him on his hands when he starts chewing on himself... My husband is happy with who he is. He always has been. Even as a child. He thinks he is awesome. And let me be the first in line to say....he most certainly is. Tyler will be just fine. So what if it takes him longer to get there. He WILL get there.
(My husband proof read this and agrees with everything other than the frequency in which he and the kids would be eating canned spaghetti. He claims canned spaghetti is amazing however they would only eat it at least once a week, but not every day.)
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