Thursday, October 18, 2012

Hearing. It's just too much.



I've told you guys about the wonder of difference that overcomes Tyler when he wears earplugs. That is just what I see. But I could not tell you what it actually DOES for him. I don't know how it impacts him. Just what the see-able difference is. SOOOO....let me tell you about ME.

All my life my hearing has been like....static. That's really the best I can describe it. I hear everything....pretty loudly. The more sounds and/or the longer those sounds continue the more pressure that builds in my ears. It feels like pressure. It's like static but without the static. Not the crackling static that you might be thinking of. Like a t.v. channel gone dead in the middle of the night. More like....feeling the crackling without the noise. Pressure moving, tumbling, and turning in on itself inside my ear. It kind of throbs. Pulses.

All noises are like this to me (I am currently listening to the hum of my husband's computer. It gives a constant soft chirping the sounds like bees in the distance but yet loudly. As if I was sitting a his desk...but I'm not). I can tolerate most of it as I am use to day to day sound being this way. There are certain sounds though that over time will cause me to flip out. Likewise there are sounds that within moments will cause me to lose it. So, one day, under such circumstances I grabbed for a pair of Tyler's wax earplugs (unused of course). I could not believe the difference. For the first time in my life sounds were more than just bearable. I could hear everything just fine but they were so soft and dare I say...pleasant? 

Above and beyond the sound difference. For the first time in my life I spoke softly. All my life I have been told by people that I am speaking too loudly for the situation. I have it mostly under control. I don't YELL, but I am loud. A real problem for me had always been the longer I talk or the more excited I get. I get louder and louder as I go. 

Here recently we were out to dinner with the parentals. It was pretty noisy and there were multiple conversations going on at our table. Most of the conversations were crisscrossing across the table. I spent a good 10 minutes thinking inside my head about this. I was struggling to follow my own conversation. It was so loud, and I was fighting to sort out my own conversation from the others. It has to be pretty bad for you to stop and take note of the situation.

I from time to time wear a pair of Tyler's wax earplugs now. They make me feel at peace in the world. I don't like the feeling of the wax earplugs. They form a pocket of pressure so it kinda hurts my ear drums. I really want to get a pair of ear defenders. I would wear those ALL THE TIME! That's on my list of things to get when I've got the spare money for it. (Kids are vampires that suck your wallet dry.)

So there you have it. That is what it is like to me. Everyone is different, but maybe this could help you understand what it might be like for your child. I know Tyler cannot explain much of anything very well let alone something like this.

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