Helen of Troy - Hope of Dallas

So, I've often ended up in a situation that leaves me thinking about...What is wrong with people?! Why do so many people seem to have nothing better to do than to tell people things that aren't true? It's more than that though. Why do so many people have nothing better to do than speak untruths on someone else's behalf? You know...when someone is talking to another person says something to them as if you had said it as a deliberate attempt to make you into a jerk.

I'm divorced. I'm use to this kind of B.S. And B.S. is just what it is. I don't always think my ex-husband is a great person. BUT I most certainly do not ever talk badly about him to Tyler. I do not ever tell Tyler that my ex said something that he didn't say. Nor do I ever tell Tyler that this is just the way it is because I KNOW how his father is. I do not talk badly to Tyler about any of my ex-husband's family. I don't even rant online about it.

Likewise. There are people in my family that I do not get along with. Whereas this is no secret...I do not speak badly about them or claim that they have said or done things they have not done. My kids know that it is just factual, we don't get along. They also know, that it is on my family's side. They know that I am willing to have a better relationship with anyone who would want that.

Yet time and time again Tyler tells me about ugly things that have been said about me. Whatever. Ok, fine. I don't harbor ill feelings left over from the divorce, but that doesn't mean no one else does. I just chalk it up to people being crazy. This isn't even my fuss really.

My fuss is with Hope. Hope is my modern day Helen of Troy. She's my...Hope of Dallas. I don't know what it is about her, but Hope has a way of inciting insanity. AND for some reason people seem to think they can say things to her, she'll believe it, and NOT say anything to me about it. Instead, as soon as you are out of ear shot she is in my ear. MOMMM!!!

So, people tell her I say things or that because they just know how I am... o.O seriously folks? Have you ever stopped to think that Hope is a big girl and can make her own decisions? Sure, she's a good kid. She's not going to roll her eyes to your face and be rude to you. Hell, she won't even say "No, I'm not interested". She just doesn't like being in those conversations. So, she is going to smile at you, nod her head, and even say ok. JUST to end it and get out of it.

Hope does not believe that I am the one keeping her from seeing anyone. Hope is keeping herself from seeing those people. And she's busy. Real busy. With her teenage life. She is not going to throw away any of that to spend time with people who she knows tell her lies about her mother. So when you start a conversation with Hope telling her that it's all my fault, that you're having to hide this from me because I wouldn't allow it, and blah blah blah... She turns around and tells me. I don't even ask her "What did you guys talk about?". I don't care. I expect it to be B.S. She tells me, because she wants me to make you shut up.

So, what spurs this on? Well, there was a case of this a couple weeks ago at one of Tyler's baseball games (apparently I don't let Hope go to her own brother's baseball games at certain times because I don't want her to see certain people....not because Hope doesn't want to go or has something else she'd rather be doing..), BUT there was another that happened last night. Hope received a text message saying - I know your mom doesn't want you talking to me... We're all sitting there going WHAT?! Hope replies and says that she is allowed to be talking to that person. The person replies again saying, I don't want you to be getting in trouble for talking to me, but on my side of it I am always willing to talk to you. o.O Do you really think that by repeatedly insisting that I said you can't talk to my daughter that it will somehow make it true? Really?

I wish nothing but happiness for my ex-husband/his family and to those in my own family that I don't get along with. I actually wish nothing more than for everyone to reach a point where they can let the past go. I'd love to be able to have a get together and have everyone there with no problems and no awkwardness OR any backstabbing going on.

In the end, my point is...STOP USING ME AS AN EXCUSE TO COVER-UP YOUR OWN CHOICES!! That's what all this comes down to. You people are hiding behind me. It's so much easier to make something someone else's fault than to own the blame. If things are the way they are because that's the way YOU want them, then own it. If things are the way they are and you want them to change....then change them. But stop being such a coward that you have to lie to a child so that the child doesn't look at you badly for your choices. The fact that you do that only tells me that you know you're being a jerk.

Let's put on our grown up pants.....